


All I Want For Christmas

by non_tiembo_mala



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Anal Sex, Barista Jared, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jensen, Christmas Fluff, J2, Jared is head over heels, Jensen is painfully oblivious, M/M, Pining, Schmoop, Student Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 06:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8786890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/non_tiembo_mala/pseuds/non_tiembo_mala
Summary: Jared might be a little bit in love with a regular customer at the coffee shop where he works. Jensen, stressed to the max with his undergrad studies, is more than a little clueless about Jared’s attention and special treatment. By the time finals are over and Jensen has time to breathe again, will it be too late for him to see what he’s been missing?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Theatregirl7299](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatregirl7299/gifts).



> This is my [j2_spn_xmas](http://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/profile) gift for [theatregirl7299](http://theatregirl7299.livejournal.com/profile). Our likes and dislikes were so similar, and after I read a few of your really amazing, super hot fics, I felt fairly confident going forward. That said, it's Christmassy, and schmoopy (because I genuinely have very little self-control (also how this wee idea turned into 16k -- so sorry, love lol)) so I hope that's okay. 'Tis the season? ❤
> 
> Beta'd by [Dancing_Adrift](http://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/profile) and [gluedwithgold](http://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/profile), as always. 
> 
> Title from, well, the song of the same name sung by any variety of artists, but chosen in part because while I was writing this, I couldn't help but feel like it was reminiscent of a skit fit for the film _Love Actually_ in which, of course, this song features.
> 
> Enjoy!

“I’m just saying, Steve and Sam would be super hot together, too,” Gen says defensively, her hands up in front of her as she tries to look innocent, even though she damn well knows how Jared gets. She bites back a laugh when he takes the bait, his eyes going wide with disbelief.

 

“Gen, you traitor. Sam is a great friend but Steve’s heart belongs to Bucky. If he had to choose, there would be no contest and–” Jared huffs when Gen starts laughing full out and he realizes she’s doing this on purpose. “Why? Why are you like this?”    
  
Jared deflates and tries not to give her the satisfaction of catching him laugh with her. She grins over her shoulder at him as she starts to walk away.

 

“You’re just so cute when you’re riled up like that, defending your ship like the hopeless romantic you are.” She winks and Jared shakes his head with a small, embarrassed chuckle. His hair slips free from behind his ears and falls into his eyes, but he can still see well enough to twist the damp cloth he’s got in his hands and thwacks Gen right on the ass with it before she gets too far. She jumps and squeals, hurrying to get around the other side of the counter so he can’t try again.

 

Jared can’t even really argue with her – he  _ is _ a hopeless romantic, and he is definitely the mushier of the two of them. Gen is much more relaxed when it comes to ideas of love and meeting people, which explains why – apart from her pretty face and charming personality, of course – she’s never lacking for dates, while Jared is shy, choosey, and generally setting himself up for disappointment. Gen likes to try and set him up, but Jared stopped actually going on those dates after her third, legitimately disastrous attempt. Not that Gen has stopped pointing out every remotely attractive man who comes in for coffee, but even she has seemingly come to terms with Jared’s insane and unrealistic – her words – expectations. 

 

The shop is quiet for the moment –  the dinnertime lull – and Jared turns away from the counter to clean the bar. He’s particularly focused on a stubborn bit of dried syrup in the corner when the bell above the door chimes as someone comes in. Jared hears when the newcomer stops in front of the counter, and he shoots a polite “be right with you!” in their direction as he puts a little more oomph into his efforts and manages to scrub the spot clean. He drops the cloth in the sink and, wiping his hands on his apron, he turns around to face the customer. 

 

“Hey, sorry about that. Welcome to Jeff’s! How can I–” Jared’s breath catches in his throat mid-sentence as his eyes finally land on the man standing in front of him. He’s completely preoccupied, juggling a large laptop bag and a backpack. There’s a blazer slung over the bag at his hip and his tie is loose at his neck, askew; he scrolls through his phone with one hand and fumbles for his wallet in his back pocket with the other. His short, dark blonde hair is slightly mussed like he’s been running his hands through it. He’s got the greenest, brightest eyes Jared has ever seen, and Jared isn’t even sure they’re the most beautiful of all his features, though they certainly are the most stunning. The guy’s lips are chapped and red like he’s been gnawing on them, but they’re plush and full and Jared can barely take his eyes off them. They’re moving subtly, forming half-words as the guy reads an email or a text message to himself off his phone, and since he doesn’t look like he’s about to answer Jared in the next couple seconds, Jared swallows hard and lets himself continue to look. He’s got freckles, of all things, splattered across his cheeks, but Jared can see them on his ears, too. He can’t even fault the way his brain immediately wonders where else he’s got them, but Jared does bite down hard on his own lip to try and halt that thought from going anywhere further. He clears his throat audibly and it’s as much to help him centre himself as it is to get the guy’s attention. 

 

“What can I get you?” Jared tries again.

 

“Oh, hey, sorry, I–” the guy says hurriedly, barely glancing up at Jared. “Could I please get an Americano? For here? The biggest one you’ve got.”

 

“Sure thing,” Jared says, punching it into the register. “That’ll be $3.05.”    
  
The guy nods and mumbles thanks as he fishes exact change out of his wallet, holding his cell phone by awkwardly pinching it to his chest with his chin so he can use both hands. He drops the money on the counter and then straightens up, taking his cell phone back into his hand, and he turns away to go look for a place to sit so quickly that Jared isn’t sure he hears him when he calls after him that his coffee will be right up at the end of the counter. 

 

Jared watches, transfixed, as the guy dumps his bags into the small booth at the far back corner of the shop. He leans over his backpack to remove his laptop from its case and his grey slacks pull taut across his ass and thick thighs – Jared is  _ pretty sure _ he didn’t actually whimper, it was just a whimper-worthy sight, really – and Jared follows the lines of the guy’s body, noticing a slight bow in his legs when he stands back, straightening up and rolling his shoulders a couple times before sliding into the booth beside his stuff. 

 

“Uh, earth to Jared?” Gen has snuck up right beside him, nudging him with her elbow and hitting him right at his waist, making him startle. “You going to actually make the man’s coffee or are you just going to stand there and swoon over him?”   
  
“Ohmygod,” Jared exhales in a rush, his cheeks immediately on fire. He practically trips in his hurry to move away from Gen and get to work pouring the guy’s shots. He hears Gen snort behind him and he tries to ignore her as he works, focusing his attention on the familiar grind and drip of the espresso and  _ not _ on how gorgeous the coffee’s recipient is. Miraculously he gets through the drink without spilling or breaking anything for how shaken up he is, and as he slides the mug onto the counter he calls out nice and loud, “Large Americano for here.”

 

He’s about to look up to make sure Green Eyes heard him, but the bell chimes and a large group of people come inside all at once, so Jared sighs and goes back to the till to take their orders. Gen even stops wiping tables to help him take care of them, and when they finally clear, Jared looks up and the guy’s Americano is still on the counter. Jared looks to the back corner where the guy is sitting and he looks completely immersed. He’s got two large textbooks opened on the table in front of him, a pencil case with an abundance of pens and highlighters sticking out of it, and his laptop is open just to the side.    
  
“Uh huh. I don’t think he heard you, Jare. Better go over there,” Gen has to stand on her tiptoes to speak quietly near Jared’s ear, and Jared startles again, having been so focused looking at the guy that he once again didn’t hear her come up to him. “Go get him, tiger.”

 

She drops her voice low and teasing for the last bit, and she’s putting the mug into Jared’s hands before he has a chance to stop being flustered and tell her to knock it off. Instead, he looks down at the still steaming espresso and hears Gen sigh. She shoves at him then, and he snaps out of it and gets moving, mostly in an effort not to spill the guy’s coffee.  

 

Jared steels himself as he approaches the booth, even though his cheeks are warm and he’s sure they’re bright pink. 

 

“S-sorry about the wait. Here’s your coffee,” Jared manages, proud of himself for only stuttering the once. He slides the mug onto the table where there’s space in between the two textbooks, and the guy’s green eyes flash up at him just for a second. He looks startled, almost like he forgot he had ordered anything, blinks once before mumbling “thanks,” and falls right back into his work. 

 

Jared stands there a moment, uncertain and awkward, before he realizes he’s staring again and hurriedly makes his way back to the bar. Gen is standing there with her arms crossed on her chest, eyebrows up and a sympathetic expression on her face when Jared lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He can feel the goofy grin spreading across his face and he’s a little jittery.  

 

“Oh, hunnie,” Gen shakes her head and reaches for his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

 

\---

 

The guy finishes his coffee but proceeds to sit there until Jared has to go over and tell him they’re closing. He sighs and sounds sad, which makes Jared’s heart ache a little, but he doesn’t look at Jared long enough to see the way Jared is gazing at him so fondly, so Jared counts it as a win and retreats to the safety of the other side of the counter before he opens his mouth and makes an ass of himself. When Green Eyes leaves, Jared sighs where he’s leaned over the counter watching, and Gen sidles up next to him, bumping him with her hip.   
  
“So, you’re already in it deep, huh,” Gen says as she leans into him. It’s not a question because she already knows it’s true. She can see it written plain as day on his face, so Jared doesn’t even pretend to hide it.    
  
“You did  _ see _ him, right? I mean…” Jared sighs again, and runs a hand through his hair. “He– I mean, Jesus, Gen, have you ever seen a guy more beautiful?”

 

“You mean apart from you?” She grins widely and winks. He scoffs at her and turns away to get to work on counting out the till. “No, you’re not wrong Jay. He’s definitely hot. If I wasn’t so desperate for you to get laid sometime this century that I’m praying to every God out there that he plays for your team, I’d be setting my sights on him myself. Really though, you two  _ would _ make the world’s most fucking gorgeous babies.”   
  
“Gen!” Jared squawks, sounding a little strangled, and looks up at her from where he’s counting, his face flushing. She cackles wildly as she starts cleaning up behind the bar, putting away all the milks and creams. He refrains from giving her the satisfaction of any response more than that, but mostly he hates that she said it at all, since Jared had spent more or less the rest of his shift sparing every extra second to glance in Green Eye’s direction, unabashedly fantasizing about cuddling up next to him in that booth, or on the couch in Jared’s apartment, or… he shakes his head, purses his lips, and gets back to counting. When he’s finished, just before he disappears into the back office with the money for the safe, Jared pauses at the door and lets his gaze linger at that back booth, and sighs. He wonders if he’ll be lucky enough that Green Eyes will be back, though he figures he’ll be no worse off if he doesn’t, since Jared is far from smooth enough to successfully pick anyone up anyway. 

 

“He’ll be back, Jay,” Gen pipes up from the other end of the bar where all the surfaces are now glistening. Jared narrows his eyes at her even as his stomach tightens. She looks at him softly and Jared rolls his eyes.

 

“Get out of my head, dammit,” he grumbles, low enough she can’t hear him, and he goes to put the money away.

 

\---

 

Gen is right, of course. Four days later, Green Eyes is back, and Jared only just barely manages to keep it together at least as much as the first time. The guy is just as flustered and stressed out looking as before, hardly sparing Jared a glance, and Jared doesn’t even bother calling out his order when it’s up, just brings it right to his table again – the same booth in the back corner – bristling happily at the guy’s mumbled thanks when Jared sets the mug down. 

 

Green Eyes is quiet and completely focused on his work all night, just as he was that first time. While Jared wishes they had more excuses to talk, he can’t complain about the view, or the fact that Green Eyes being in his own little world means Jared can shamelessly look over at him while he works, even if it renders him vulnerable to Gen’s nearly constant teasing. It’s freaking worth it. 

 

Three weeks later, Green Eyes has been making that back booth his working nest two or three evenings a weeks, making Jared a very happy – if not completely lovesick – barista. It’s early October now, and it’s just beginning to feel like fall. Green Eyes comes into the shop looking elegant – though often a little disheveled – and Jared has pieced together that he’s a student, probably at Harvard, which is only a few blocks away, and he seems to be studying something business related if his textbooks are anything to go by. 

 

During another lull, Jared is distracted behind the food display cabinet, absent-mindedly dusting off crumbs and using the vantage point to look over at Green Eyes.

 

“Jay, babe,” Gen walks up beside him and he drops his gaze to the crumbs still just sitting in his hand, swept into his palm a good thirty seconds ago. “Do I have to put you out of your misery? Please, go over there. Say something. Anything besides here’s your coffee.”   
  
“Gen,  _ please _ ,” Jared hisses under his breath, eyes pleading. “I– I can’t.”    
  
Jared’s mouth goes dry and he feels his cheeks warm just  _ thinking _ about it. Around Gen and their friends, he’s loud and clumsy and awkward, and it’s okay because they’re his friends. But around hot guys, Jared is a hundred times all that and then some, bumbling, inarticulate and – this is key, working in the coffee shop – incredibly prone to spilling things and otherwise embarrassing himself.

 

Gen sighs. “Well, you leave me no choice. It’s been three freakin’ weeks of this.”   
  
“W-what–  _ Gen! _ ” Jared calls after her in a hushed voice, still loud like a stage whisper as she sashays past him and walks right up to Green Eyes’ booth.    
  
Jared’s stomach plummets, and he’s torn between needing to see what the hell she’s doing –  _ please, god, don’t let her point at me _ – and not being able to watch at all. His mortification wins out. He spins on his heel and moves to the farthest corner from them to busy himself doing absolutely anything else.   
  
His heart hammers in his ears and he can hear Gen giggle in the distance; his chest tightens and he feels like they’re back in fucking grade school all over again. Gen has been playing the part of Jared’s wingman since the ninth grade and Jared’s epic and completely doomed crush on Tom fucking Welling. Jared’s always been shy and Gen is always the one to push him a million miles outside of his comfort zone. He loves and hates her for this in turns, but mostly–    
  
“Okay, loverboy,” her voice breaks into his churning thoughts and he jumps, spinning around to face her. She’s wearing a huge, smug grin, and Jared groans internally, dreading what she’s about to say. “My recon mission was a success. Well, at least kinda. The ridiculously hot object of your longing has a name – it’s Jensen – he’s a fourth year at Harvard, and he’s either gay as a rainbow or dead to the world.”   
  
“Oh, no,” Jared groans, aloud this time, and covers his face with his hands. “You didn’t.”   
  
“Oh, I did,” she smirks proudly. Jared drops his hands, dragging them down dramatically, and stares at her desperately. He knows exactly what she did –  she just went over there and employed her usual tried and true pick-up routine, which consists of shameless, blatant flirting in the form of all the usual methods: playing with her hair, excessive batting of her lashes, and accentuating her breasts – already tempting in her tight, low-cut v-neck black t-shirt – by finding excuses to press her arms together to deepen her cleavage. Jared’s seen her do it before to audiences of men and women alike, and her success rate is staggering. It would be absurd for how obvious she is except she’s so stupidly smooth that even Jared has to admit it looks fucking good. If he were interested in women, he can’t imagine being immune to her either.   
  
“Anyway, you have a name now and there’s a good chance your boy plays for your team, so…  _ You’re welcome _ .” She hops up quick and kisses his cheek before getting back to work, just in time for a couple customers to come through the door.    
  
“He’s not…” – Jared starts after her but she’s already saying hi and asking their orders – “ …my boy,” he finishes, muttering ruefully to himself.   
  
Jared sighs and lets himself look over in Jensen’s direction.  _ Jensen _ . He says it quietly to himself, just to feel it in his mouth, and his heart swells a little. It’s a nice name, pretty. It suits him. Jared wants to be mad at her for being so meddlesome but he can’t help but be grateful, even if that tiny seed of hope makes it that much easier for Jared to get lost in daydreams featuring those freckles, green eyes, and lush lips.

 

\---

  
The next Tuesday that Jensen comes in, he’s earlier than usual and his backpack looks extra heavy. He’s starting to look tired, too, and after the first four hours pass and Jensen’s coffee has been empty for the last two, Gen is on break and the store is quiet, so Jared downs the rest of his pumpkin spice latte and decides to be bold. He puts $3.05 into the till from his own wallet, makes another Americano, and takes a deep breath before bringing it over to where Jensen is buried deep in his studies, plugging numbers into a calculator and scribbling away on a pad of graph paper. Jensen doesn’t look up and Jared takes a steadying breath, then clears his throat to get his attention.

 

“Thought you could use a refill,” Jared smiles brightly and exchanges the full mug for the empty one on the table as Jensen blinks up at him.    
  
“Oh,” he says, startled. “Oh! God, yes, actually.”   
  
Jensen really looks up at him for maybe the first time and then his eyes drop to the name tag on Jared’s apron.   
  
“Jared, thank you,” he smiles at him and Jared is momentarily stunned. Jensen is breathtaking when he smiles, crinkles starting in the corners of his eyes that make him look so happy and Jared is absolutely doomed. Jensen leans forward, starting to reach for his wallet, and it snaps Jared out of his daze.   
  
“Oh, no, don’t worry about it. Refills are f-free, J-Jensen,” Jared stutters nervously over the little lie and Jensen’s name, his voice going soft, but Jensen looks back at him gratefully like maybe he didn’t notice.   
  
“That’s awesome, thanks,” he says, putting his wallet away, and Jared nods. He forces himself to back up and walk away before he opens his mouth again and says something awful like  _ you’re hot _ or  _ I get off at ten _ .    
  
When he turns around and heads for the counter, Gen is standing behind it with her arms crossed and a surprised, vaguely proud expression on her face.   
  
“Colour me impressed. Padalecki, did you just grow a pair while I was having dinner?” She snickers and flinches, preemptively protecting herself, expecting the usual – and completely deserved, the smartass – swat.    
  
“Oh, shut up,” Jared’s cheeks are on fire as he shoulders past her. He gets to work on the next customer’s order and by the time he’s decorating the mountain of whipped cream with a dusting of cinnamon, he’s gone soft and warm inside. Jensen said his name. Jensen knows who he is. He can’t help his goofy grin as he hands over the finished latte. Jared is well aware that his thoughts at the moment resemble those of a prepubescent girl – a similarity Gen has not hesitated to point out on more than one occasion – but Jared doesn’t even care. He practically floats through rest of his shift.

 

\---

  
Jensen continues to come into the shop on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays like clockwork. Jared didn’t used to work Friday nights but after he covered one for Chad and realized Jensen was coming in then, too, he offered to trade Chad for all his Fridays. Chad thought he was mental but wasn’t about to pass up ditching the least desirable shift. Gen, who now had Friday evenings at home by herself, couldn’t make up her mind if she was pleased with that development or more sad for the ever-increasing depths of Jared’s pathetic, mooning behaviour. Jared hates the way she looks at him sometimes – like she pities him, maybe – but if the closest Jared is going to get to Jensen is serving him coffee and getting to look at him from a distance while they both work, Jared is going to take it. Gen’s teasing was ruthless for a while, but by the time Thanksgiving is rolling around, Jared still hasn’t managed to progress further than “Hey, Jensen, the usual?” and “Have a great day!” and Gen is poking at him less, more prone to shaking her head or sighing when she catches him getting distracted gazing in Jensen’s direction.   
  
It’s Thanksgiving and it’s busy, lots of folks out and about enjoying the holiday by stopping in for coffee to go or settling in for long chats with friends. Jensen came in before lunch and has already been working steadily in his corner for a few hours. Jared is anxious to bring Jensen his second coffee, knowing that by now his mug will have been long empty. As soon as the next rush settles, Jared pours the shots and quickly makes his way back to Jensen’s booth. Jensen sits back with a long sigh, running a hand through his hair and looking thoroughly frustrated just as Jared approaches.

 

“Jensen, hey,” Jared starts shyly. He reaches for Jensen’s empty mug and slides the new one onto the table. “Tough day?” 

 

“Hey, Jared. Thanks,” he reaches for the Americano immediately, taking a deep breath of the steam before relaxing a little and taking a tentative sip. “Yeah. I’m working on this collaborative project that’s due first thing next week but all my partners are taking off for the weekend. Most of them are already gone, which makes this way less collaborative and so much more just me.”   
  
He sighs again and takes another sip of his coffee. Jared watches the lines of his face soften and his shoulders drop as he deflates a little, and his eyes track the movement in Jensen’s throat when he swallows because he absolutely can’t help himself. He swallows thickly, works past the butterflies in his stomach, and latches onto this chance to keep talking.

 

“That’s really s-shitty of them,” he tries not to mumble, sympathetic to Jensen’s plight. “You don’t have any plans then? F-for Thanksgiving?”    
  
Jensen huffs and looks at Jared incredulously. “You mean besides this project? Ha ha. No. Well– I’m pretty sure my housemates are going to force me to partake in some kind of house turkey dinner tonight but otherwise, no. Just this.” He gestures at the spread of textbooks and work currently cluttering up what Jared has come to think of as  _ Jensen’s table _ . “What a–”   
  
The bell on the counter dings aggressively and they both startle. Jared looks back over his shoulder and Gen is looking at him apologetically but she needs his help, a long line having formed while Jared was preoccupied. He didn’t even hear the door chime going off. 

 

“Sorry, gotta go. Good luck,” Jared splutters out. He gets a step away before he turns back just to say, “and Happy thanksgiving!”    
  


By the time the rush finally dies down, it’s time to prep for their early close. It’s a holiday, after all. Jared closes the till and takes a deep breath, feeling pretty well worn off his feet. He looks back towards Jensen’s booth, about to go over and give him the ten minute warning, but the booth is empty. Jared tries not to be disappointed. It’s not like they talk much anyway, and they already had more of a conversation today than Jared has managed since he first came into the store, but it had never felt finished, and Jared had hoped… it doesn’t matter. He shakes his head and feels a small, warm hand low on his back. He turns and looks down at Gen. She’s looking up at him sympathetically like she  _ knows _ what he’s thinking about– who is Jared kidding? Of course she knows. She gives him a small, encouraging smile, and then she goes to clean up the tables while Jared takes care of the counter. Another shift done, and nothing is changed.

 

\---

 

When Jensen discovered Jeff’s Place at the beginning of his final semester of undergrad, he had no idea how lucky a find it was. Four years living on or close to campus and he just never wandered that way. But now that Steve had moved out of his awesome, perfect-for-practices house to shack up with his girlfriend and Chris had so generously volunteered his, Danneel’s and Jensen’s house for practices, Jensen needed a place to lie low where those two weren’t busy being inconsiderate and impossibly loud.    
  
Jeff’s Place seemed perfect and only got better. Not only was the coffee great, but he got free refills while he worked, lost for hours in the frustrating and seemingly never-ending pile of projects to put together and papers to write for his economics/business management double major. And yes, he knows how that sounds, and no, he’s not actually crazy. But he is working his ass off because if he doesn’t impress the right professors and make the right grades, there’ll be no scholarship and no MBA, so hard work and zero play is the extent of Jensen’s life until his final exams are written and his final assignments are turned in at the end of term. 

 

Which, by the way, is so close Jensen can almost taste it. At least, it’s close on a calendar, it’s not close when he considers the insane amount of work he has to get through. He’s strung out, he hasn’t been sleeping or eating enough – God knows if it weren’t for Danni putting food in front of his face or hiding protein bars in his bags, he may never remember to eat – he feels like crap, and he’s just wearing out. He can’t remember the last time he sat and had a real conversation with someone, much less talked to people who weren’t sitting in his classes, working on joint projects with him, or the odd time he gets lucky and crosses paths with one or both of his housemates. Those hardly qualify as real conversations either, since mostly Chris and Danni take turns hitting him with worry or nagging – anything to get him to slow down or take a break, eat something, take a nap, go on a date – anything but spend every waking moment as a slave to studies. Jensen has stopped arguing with them. There’s a countdown on his phone to his freedom – the due date of his last paper, Friday the twenty-third of December – and whenever they start to give him crap, he just tells them how many days.   
  
Jensen isn’t sure how many days he has left when he realizes things have changed between his housemates and he needs to retreat to Jeff’s Place more than the already pathetic three days a week he camps out there. It might’ve happened around Thanksgiving, but they’re subtle at first. He doesn’t realize it right away because as it turns out, they were deliberately hiding it from him, “weren’t sure if it would make things weird” – Chris’ words – until he comes home early from class one Wednesday night and interrupts them making out in the middle of the living room. 

 

Chris and Danneel. His two best friends. Making out. In their shared living room.

 

He wasn’t actually surprised – it was a relief even. The chemistry has been there since they first met and it’s just always been the wrong time or God knows what. Jensen is happy for them. But Jensen is also, actually, miserable, and here’s the thing about misery: it loves company, as they say, so that company can’t be preoccupied constantly making out like teenagers because four years of unresolved sexual tension between two perfectly suited people finally getting resolved is altogether too much happiness for Jensen to handle. He hates himself a little, but it’s hard to be around them now that they’re finally fucking. 

 

He mostly just hates how much it makes him loathe what he’s doing to himself. He’s got plans, always has, and he’s stuck to them like glue. He’s been focused and successful, and it’s been hard, but until this last semester, Jensen could at least still have  _ some _ fun, even if most of it was with Chris and Danni as opposed to any number of the hot, smart, attractive, but sadly probably not gay, men in his classes. This semester he hasn’t even let himself look, much less have any hope. It was only four months. Four months and then he’ll be free. Then he can wait for his scholarship to go through and enjoy a much deserved break before starting his MBA in the fall. Maybe he’ll go backpacking across Europe. Or maybe he’ll pick a beach somewhere and live on it until he has to come back to Boston. Hell, maybe he’ll even go home to Texas for a while, work on his brother’s ranch, get back to his roots and just  _ be _ . And right now, he’s so fucking close. But until then…   
  
Jensen sighs, rolling his forehead on the smooth, glossy paper of his International Macroeconomics textbook. A hand presses gently between his shoulder blades and he turns, laying his cheek on the open book and looks up at Danneel from where he’s lying.

 

“Jen, babe… when was the last time you ate?” She sounds concerned and Jensen just shrugs under her hand. “When did you sleep last? And I mean in your bed, not here on the kitchen table.”   
  
Jensen shrugs again. “I dunno, what time is it?”   
  
“Jesus, Jensen,” Danneel throws her hands up in disbelief. “It’s fucking late, is what it is. Have you been here all day? That’s it. Get moving, Mister.” 

 

Jensen’s eyes go wide and he barely starts to sit up before she’s weaseling her hands under his arms to start pulling at him. “Danni, what the hell?”   
  
“No, Jensen, you don’t get to what the hell me. I’ve had enough of you looking like you’re wasting away because you can’t pull your head out of your books long enough to eat and sleep. You’re going to shower,” she maneuvers him out of the kitchen and he shares a wide-eyed look with Chris, who’s on the couch in the living room and shrugs at him uselessly. “And I am going to make you something to eat, and then you’re going to sleep. So help me, Jensen, if I see you come out here for your books before you get at least eight hours I will lose it.”   
  
She punctuates her threat by shoving him roughly in the direction of the stairs leading to both the bathroom and his bedroom. Jensen stumbles back and puts his hands up defensively. 

 

“Okay, okay,  _ Christ, _ ” he rolls his eyes and turns, heading upstairs while Danneel stands there watching him go with a hand on her hip and a menacing look. He knows her well enough that there’s no point trying to argue with her. He sighs when he’s alone in the upstairs hallway and he can hear her walk away, no doubt off to the kitchen to put together something filled with vegetables to force feed him after. 

 

He goes into the bathroom, flicks on the light, and looks at himself in the mirror a moment, leaning on the pedestal sink. He takes in the dark circles under his eyes, more pronounced than they’ve ever been, the off colour of his skin and thinks that Danni definitely isn’t wrong. He does look like shit. He sighs again, resigned, and by the time he’s undressed and stepping under the hot water, the exhaustion is hitting him hard. He has so much work to do but suddenly he’s not even sure he’ll make it through Danni’s dinner before he passes out.

 

She knocks on his bedroom door just after he’s pulled on his boxers and flipped back the covers on his bed.

 

“It’s open,” he calls out, and she lets herself in, carrying a stir fry that smells amazing. 

 

“Go on, Ackles,” she says, nodding towards his bed. He laughs a little and hops in, propping himself up against the pillows and reaching to take his dinner as she hands it to him.

 

“So,” Jensen grins at her as he settles the plate on his lap. “What you’re saying is I should keep being a shit adult in order to get dinner in bed?”   
  
She swats his arm – not exactly gently, either – and glares at him.

 

“Jensen, we’re worried about you, you ass.” Her expression softens as Jensen winces and rubs at his shoulder. “And don’t start throwing your damn countdown at me, okay? If you don’t stop and take time for yourself you’re not going to make it, Jensen. I’m serious.”

 

Jensen holds his best friend’s gaze a moment while what she says sinks in, then he drops his eyes to his food, pushing the vegetables around with his fork, and bites his bottom lip.

 

“I know,” he admits quietly. He hears her sigh next to him.

 

“I know this scholarship is a big deal, Jen. I just– I hate seeing you like this. Chris and I live with you and we barely see you, for chrissakes. And when we do, you look so worn out… Hell, not only did you bail on our house decorating party but you didn’t even  _ notice _ that we put the tree up! I can’t  _ stop  _ worrying about you. I hate that it feels like you’re doing everything on your own, when we’re right here. I hate that you’re not going home for Christmas, and you’re going to be alone. We love you, Jen.” She sits on the edge of his bed and leans against him, resting her head on his shoulder. 

 

Jensen’s heart aches a little. He loves and misses his housemates, too, but if he felt lonely before, he only feels it worse when he sees them together, Danni usually sitting curled up so close she may as well be in Chris’ lap, and every time he catches them kissing, his stomach churns with a sickening mix of happy-for-them but so-fucking-jealous. He hasn’t kissed anyone in way longer than he’d like to admit, especially since he knows he only has himself to blame, but he misses it. He’d managed to successfully put those thoughts aside until he became faced with it every day in his own home. Which, incidentally, is why they kept it from him, and that just makes him angry at himself for being such a lonely, jealous asshole. 

 

“Jen, promise me something?” Danni asks, sitting back up to look at him. “When this is over, when your countdown is finished, please don’t find something else to hide behind.”   
  
Jensen blinks at her wordlessly. 

 

“Don’t look at me like that.” She reaches for his chin and gives it a little shake. “I know it’s been all too easy to pretend your school shit means you’re too busy to really see someone, and while I can’t exactly argue that you  _ are _ busy, you and I both know that’s B.S. So no more after, okay?”   
  
Jensen’s mouth is dry as he keeps staring at his friend, his chest a little tight and his stomach sinking. Danni has always known him better than anyone else, and as his heart races behind his ribs, he realizes sometimes she knows him better than he even himself. He swallows thickly and nods slowly. She gives him a small smile in return and stands back up, patting his shoulder.

 

“”Kay. I’m gonna hold you to that, Jen.” She winks. “Enjoy your dinner, and sweet dreams.”

 

She walks away and Jensen watches her go, still a little stunned. She steps out of his room and just before she closes the door, Jensen clears his throat.

 

“Hey, Danni?” He calls after her quietly.

 

“Yeah, babe?” 

 

“Thank you. Love you, too.” Jensen smiles weakly but it’s genuine, and Danni blows him a kiss before shutting his door. 

 

He cleans his plate thoroughly before setting it down on the floor to deal with in the morning, both because it’s delicious and out of fear of Danni’s wrath should she discover any abandoned broccoli. He turns off his light, lays down and tucks himself in, staring blankly into the darkness, trying not to think about how right Danni is. About everything. He sighs, and he’s so very tired. He sets the alarm on his phone for eight hours later before he finally shuts his eyes.

 

Five more days. One more exam and one more project to go. He can do this. Just five. More. Days...

 

\---

 

Jensen has to admit, though he would not have let himself take the break to sleep like that without Danneel having laid down the law like she did, it seems to have helped. He had been struggling with the approach for his last assignment and when he sat down the next morning to have another go, it came to him just like that.  _ Huh, go figure _ . He spent that day and most of the next in the library on campus doing all the research and legwork, and now that that’s finished, he’s taking his notes and his laptop to Jeff’s Place and his usual back corner booth to get started putting it all together. He’s just opening the document on his desktop when Jared comes over with his Americano.

 

“Here you go, Jensen,” he says cheerfully, and Jensen smiles, letting out a relieved and grateful sigh as he looks up and sees the steaming mug get set down on his table. There’s a small candy cane hooked over the edge, and Jensen blinks before turning to look at Jared; Jared who is grinning beautifully and wearing an old, clearly well-loved Santa hat, looking more attractive in one of those stupid things than anyone has any right to. His cheeks are even a little rosy, too. Jensen smiles and Jared looks at him curiously.

 

“...What?” He finally asks, fidgeting a little. “Is it– oh God, you’re not allergic to candy canes or something, are you?” Jared looks panicked and starts to reach for it. “I’m so sorry, I was just– it’s just, Christmas, you know, and–”   
  
Jensen shakes his head quickly, laughing even as he tries to reassure Jared that it’s all okay. “No, Jared, it’s fine– good. I just… haven’t had much time to get into the spirit of things – won’t really get to celebrate this year at all, actually – but here you are giving me a little bit of the holiday anyway.”   
  
“O-oh,” Jared says, gently setting the candy cane back on the edge of Jensen’s mug, and then he stands there next to Jensen’s table biting his lip, like he’s trying to decide if what Jensen said was a good thing or bad. Jensen lets his smile be gentle. 

 

“So thanks,” he says, to clear up any doubt. “Christmas looks good on you,” he adds, nodding at Jared’s Santa hat.

 

Jared’s face turns a bright shade of red like it’s trying to rival the festive velvet topper, and Jared just beams at him. Jensen is struck by his smile and not for the first time thinks that Jared is stunning – but for the first time ever, he lets that thought really sink in. Maybe it’s the atmosphere in the shop, all the soft Christmas music and warm lights; maybe it’s that he finally had a decent night’s sleep; or, maybe it’s that Jensen is so close, the three days on his countdown making him a little jittery with excitement that it’s finally going to be over, but… as Jared mumbles a quiet thanks and walks away, Jensen can’t stop himself from watching him go, tall and long and with an ass like–

 

_ Jesus, Jensen! _ He shakes his head to snap out of it and that is  _ exactly _ why he’s had blinders on all semester. He loosens up for all of thirty seconds and the next thing he knows he’s daydreaming about the poor boy behind the coffee counter who’s just trying to do his job, for chrissakes. 

 

Jensen sighs, mildly irritated with himself and the tease of heat low in his gut, and he takes a sip of his coffee as he settles into his work.  _ Focus, Jensen, focus _ . Just three more days…

 

\---

 

On December twenty-third, Jensen is back at Jeff’s Place as usual, and he’s surprisingly not stressed, instead feeling exceptionally hopeful. It’s down to the wire; he only has until the end of the day to get everything done, proofed, and handed in, but he’s so close and he feels damn good about his final product. He dumps all of his bags at his booth and goes up to the counter to order his coffee from the short, pretty, dark-haired girl – Gen, according to her name tag – who is usually working when Jared is. He slides his change across the counter and smiles at her before heading back to his table, and she smiles back at him, tight-lipped and almost in a smirk that makes Jensen do a quick double take before he sits down, though she’s already wearing a different expression, taking the next person’s order. 

 

Jensen is working away, typing up a storm, and when he gets to the end of a paragraph, he reaches mindlessly for his mug, only looking away from his work when his fingers have continued to grasp at nothing. He scans the table, but his coffee is not hiding anywhere between his laptop, pencil case, piles of notes and open textbook. He frowns, not sure how long it’s been since he sat down but sure that it’s been a while, and he looks up around the cafe. Jared is nowhere to be seen, and there’s just Gen who took his order and an average looking guy with short, almost buzzed blonde hair working the espresso machine. Jensen watches as he slides a cup onto the counter next to a white ceramic mug and calls out the order. There are two girls chatting together just off to the side and one of them steps forward to collect her drink, pointing at the paper cup to make sure it’s hers before she picks it up. 

 

“Yours will be right up,” the blonde boy says politely to the other girl and she smiles, nodding before she and her friend get back to talking. Jensen’s face heats as he watches a little longer and realizes that nobody else’s coffees are getting delivered to their tables. When it’s inescapably clear that Jensen has been getting special treatment, his mouth is a little dry and his heart flutters in his chest.  _ Jared _ . Jared has been doing this since day one, since the first time Jensen came in here months ago, and… oh, oh God.

 

He swallows thickly and can’t help but feel a little sheepish when he finally makes himself get up and walk to the counter. Blondie is cleaning off the machine and Gen is watching him the whole time as he approaches, her eyes narrowed. He clears his throat awkwardly and points at the mug.

 

“Sorry, is that mine?” 

 

The blonde guy turns to Gen and smirks when she steps forward to answer, crossing her arms against her chest. “Sure is.”   
  
She holds his gaze and there’s something in the set of her jaw and slight raise of her eyebrows that feels like a challenge, or at least, makes Jensen’s stomach feel uncomfortable and tight as he tries to smile back at her when he reaches for the coffee.

 

She doesn’t back down, still looking at him after he collects his drink and finally he sighs, giving in, feeling suddenly like everyone here knows something that he doesn’t that he really, really should.

 

“Is… is Jared here?” He asks tentatively even though it’s clear he isn’t, just because he isn’t sure how else to ask after him, and she baulks at that, dropping her arms to put her hands on her hips.

 

“Oh,  _ now _ you care,” she rolls her eyes and scoffs under her breath, quiet so Jensen isn’t sure he was supposed to hear.

 

“W-what?” He blinks, taken aback either way by the show of hostility. She sighs, sounding irritated, and her coworker – Chad, now that Jensen can see his name tag – puts a hand on her arm as if to hold her back but she just shakes it off.

 

“He’s only been fawning over you for months, Jensen, but sure– he’s not here to look after you so  _ now _ you notice, since me and Chad would just let your coffee get cold. Makes sense.”

 

Jensen stares back at her, mouth agape, and blinks. That’s not– no, he– but… oh, wow. His stomach plummets and when he finally finds his voice again, he sighs, defeated.

 

“It– it’s not like that,” he says quietly, not sure what else to say. He’s been an idiot. How could he have been so blind? Jared has been so attentive to him, refilling his coffee without him even noticing most days. The few times they’ve actually spoken, Jared has always smiled so big and been a little blushy, he just never realized that might’ve been for him, and–

 

“Really? It’s not? Then please, what is it like, because if you’re not gay, or not interested, then fine, you know? Maybe you have a girlfriend – though I’d pity her, honestly, the amount of time you spend in here – but you could at least have the heart to let him down instead of just letting him keep doting on you in some doomed hope that you might notice him.”

 

Every word she says makes Jensen’s stomach twist even more unpleasantly. His heart aches for Jared, even as there’s a shameless thrill of excitement underneath it all because  _ Jesus _ – Jared is beautiful, and sweet, and he’s fucking interested in Jensen, even if Jensen doesn’t deserve it, not after all this time.  _ Goddammit. _

 

“Shit,” he finally says out loud, pushing a hand through his hair and tugging at it anxiously while Gen glares at him, waiting for some kind of explanation. “I honestly– I can’t believe I… I’ve been such an ass.”   
  
Gen looks skeptical a moment, but as Jensen looks back at her in earnest, she seems to at least approve of his self-assessment. Jensen sighs again. She and Jared are obviously more than work friends, but Jensen still has a project to finish and this isn’t the grade school playground; he’s not about to explain himself to her. 

 

“So… he’s not in tonight?” Jensen tries again, just to be sure. It’s Gen who sighs this time.

 

“No, he’s not. Since he insisted on staying in town to work over the holidays, his family is going away on vacation without him and they have a layover at Logan for a few hours. He switched with Chad to go have dinner with them at the airport, since it’s the only chance he’ll get to see them for Christmas.” Gen sounds like she isn’t impressed with Jared’s holiday plans, eyes narrowed sharply at Jensen like somehow he’s responsible for that, too, and the implied  _ you’d know if you ever bothered to talk to him yourself _ is as loud and clear as the grind of the espresso machine behind her where Chad is pouring more shots for someone’s drink. When she doesn’t volunteer the next time Jared is in, he realizes he’s going to have to work for everything now, since he’s definitely in Gen’s bad books. He can’t even blame her.

 

“Are you guys open tomorrow? Is he working?” Jensen pushes, and now Gen regards him with a kind of suspicious skepticism. 

 

“Yeah, we are, and yes, he is.”   
  
Jensen lets out a breath of relief, smiling to himself as he nods and makes to go back to his booth.

 

“Why?” Gen calls out after him, but he just grins at her from over his shoulder. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do, but he’s going to do something. As soon as he’s turned in this project, he’ll figure it out. 

 

“You’ll just have to ask Jared,” he tosses back, way more confident than he should be, considering if what Gen says is true and Jared’s been interested in him for months, Jensen wouldn’t blame him if he tells him to get lost after everything. But he’s going to try, and that has to count for something. He can only hope.

 

He gets back to his booth and sets to work with a renewed sense of purpose. Before, all he was looking forward to after turning in his final assignment was celebrating alone in an empty house, since Chris and Danneel decided last minute to change their plans and go visit Chris’ family over the holiday – something about them wanting to meet Chris’ new girlfriend, and Jensen smirks to himself, warmed at the thought of his friends’ happiness even if it meant finding himself alone at Christmas – but now? He has a mission. He can’t wait to get started.

 

\---

 

Jensen turns in his final assignment, has a very promising conversation with his professor about his scholarship application, and returns to his house feeling lighter and freer than he has since, well, all of his undergrad. Which he’s miraculously just finished. He should be passing out, four months of late nights and shitty sleep catching up with him full force now that he’s fucking  _ done _ , but instead he’s got a bounce in his step. When walks up to his house, he notices the wreath on the door with the big bow and the string of multicoloured lights around their living room window. He was distantly aware that Danni and Chris had decorated without him, but he just hadn’t  _ noticed _ before. He feels like he’s really seeing everything again, like the black veil of economics has been lifted from his eyes, and when he steps inside, what he sees is– well, a mess. 

 

He pauses in the doorway, frowning. Danni and Chris must’ve been in a rush, but he can’t even be mad. He sure as hell hasn’t been pulling his weight around the house in recent history, and maybe he’s irrationally hopeful that if they’re both alone at Christmas, maybe – just  _ maybe _ – Jared might want to spend it with him, but Jensen drops his backpack and briefcase at the door, kicks off his winter boots, and rolls his sleeves. He’s got work to do.

 

The house is spotless by the time Jensen leaves it late in the afternoon the next day. Every surface is clean and shiny, the carpets vacuumed, the tiles scrubbed. Everything is put away in its proper place, and Jensen even went digging under the stairs for the rest of the Christmas stuff that Chris and Danni didn’t bother to put out. The tree was up and lit, of course, but now there’s a garland over the doorway to the kitchen, a red and black buffalo plaid throw on their old couch, and some candles that smell like fresh gingerbread cookies on the living room table. He even found the old plastic ball of mistletoe from their ridiculous party back in first year, and he took painstaking care to hang it from the ceiling at the foot of the stairs leading up to the bedrooms. His stomach fluttered as he did it, partly because he was poised precariously on the lower steps and leaning, bracing himself on the wall and trying not to fall and break his neck, but mostly because he spent the rest of the time thinking about kissing Jared, and how he probably tastes warm and sweet like some sugar-filled holiday drink. He feels a little stupid, can’t help that he feels hopeful, even as another part of him reminds him none-to-kindly that if this goes nowhere, he only has himself to blame and he’ll deserve every lonely moment he gets this Christmas.

 

Still, Jensen is ready to go out on a few limbs here. Jared is obviously shy – that much is clear. He can barely get two sentences out around Jensen, even though Jensen is well aware he wasn’t making it easy for the guy, completely oblivious and lost in his own world as he was. Regardless, if he was less shy, he could have been more aggressive, more obvious, but that’s clearly not his style. Jensen is going to have to take the lead here, and he’s going to do it in a big, heartfelt way to make up for his unintentional aloofness. 

 

Which, now that he thinks of it, walking to Jeff’s Place in a postcard perfect light and fluffy snowfall, Santa hat on his head and big, Christmassy bouquet in hand – red roses and holly, evergreen sprigs and small pinecones dusted with red glitter – Jensen is suddenly nervous. He feels ridiculous, and he stops in the middle of the sidewalk, closing his eyes a moment and taking a deep breath. He’s a walking cliché, really, and maybe Jared will hate the flowers, but it felt right in his gut at the time, so he’s going with it now.  _ Jared. _ Jensen sighs, picturing Jared’s wide dimpled smile, his bright, happy eyes, and that blush on his cheeks that never seems to go away– at least, not when Jensen’s around. Jensen wants to keep it that way. He wants to absolutely be certain he’s the cause of it – all of it – and, pushing his nerves aside, he resumes walking, closing his gloved fingers tightly around the base of the bouquet, an echo of the tight, hopeful feeling in his heart.

 

He reaches the little cafe that’s become so familiar and much like a second home to him over the last few months, and he pauses in the window. The snow keeps falling around him and the world is bright and soft blue, washed in the light filtered through the wintery clouds above, but the coffee shop glows warm on the other side of the glass. The place is decorated for the season, not that Jensen ever really noticed until today, and it’s not quite empty but it is quiet, only a few couples and one or two folks sitting solo with their coffees and hot cocoas. Blondie is working the espresso machine and then– Jensen’s breath catches in his throat. Jared is leaning over the counter near the register, absentmindedly tracing his fingers on the polished bar, holding his head up with his other hand. He’s wearing his Santa hat, though it’s sitting askew on his head, and his long, soft looking hair is sticking out from under it, making Jensen’s fingers flex around the flowers with the itch to touch it. He’s in his own little world right now, thinking who knows what, and he’s so beautiful. How– how Jensen ever looked at him and didn’t  _ see _ , he’ll never know. He never wants to be in that place again. But he’s here now, and he’s as ready as he’s ever going to be, so he musters his courage and reaches for the door.

 

The bell dings above him as he steps inside, sniffling as soon as the warm, coffee-laden air envelops him. He dusts off the covering of snow on his shoulders and arms, then peels his gloves off his hands and stuffs them into the pocket of his pea coat as he walks towards the counter.

 

Jared had stood up and looked towards the door at the sound of the bell, but there’s a moment where he looks confused, like for a split second he almost doesn’t recognize Jensen with the hat and the flowers, without being burdened with all his usual bags. Jensen holds Jared’s blinking gaze and can’t hold back his genuine grin, even though his stomach is fluttering like mad and making his hands shake a little. 

 

“Jensen, hi!” Jared finally sputters out as Jensen comes to stand in front of him, and that pink is creeping into his cheeks like it always does, making Jensen’s insides feel warm, too. Jensen watches Jared take in the Santa hat, smile that big smile of his, and then sees his eyes drop to the flowers and catches the way Jared’s expression falters, just for a moment. Then he’s smiling again, even if it doesn’t quite reach his multi-coloured eyes anymore, and Jensen is so painfully aware of Jared’s interest in this moment, even just this brief exchange, he’s mentally kicking himself anew for being so goddamn obtuse. “Just your u-usual?” 

 

Jensen just looks a little longer while Jared waits for his answer, and when Jared’s bottom lip disappears anxiously between his teeth, Jensen starts to shake his head. 

 

“Actually, Jared, I was hoping to buy  _ you _ a coffee. And– dinner, maybe, or something, anything, actually. That is– if you’ll let me. If you’d like. If–” Jensen hears the way it’s slipping away from him, he’s starting to ramble, and Jared’s eyes are wide and damn near panicked, clearly completely surprised. Jensen tries to bring it back in. “Jared, I’m an idiot, okay? An oblivious, work-obsessed idiot, and I’m sorry. You–” Jared’s cheeks really are red as his hat now, he’s nervously lacing his fingers together in front of his chest, and Jensen can see Chad watching from the end of the bar looking vaguely impressed and definitely smug “–you’ve been so sweet to me and I’ve been completely unavailable, which is ridiculous because,  _ Christ, _ look at you, Jared. You’re beautiful and– and I want to see you smile all the time. You have this amazing smile and I can’t believe it took me so long to–” 

 

Jensen makes himself stop talking because his rambling has only gotten worse, not better, and he sighs shakily, a small laugh, looking down at his feet a moment just to try and collect himself. When he looks back up at Jared, he’s still staring at him in a stunned state of flushed disbelief, and Jensen feels his heart squeeze as the hope he had falters, the realization that it’s probably too late, it took too long for him to get his shit together and that– that’s fine. He gets it. 

 

“Anyway, you don’t– I just wanted to tell you that. So you know that… I did notice you. I  _ do _ notice you, and... and I’m sorry. And, um, these are for you.” He clears his throat awkwardly, his own face hot as he hands the bouquet to Jared across the counter. Jared takes a second but then he reaches with a shaky hand to take them, and his fingers – warm from being inside – brush over Jensen’s cold ones in the hand-off. Jensen huffs out a little breath, already clinging to that small touch like it’s the only one he’ll ever get, and as Jared holds the flowers to his chest, tipping his head down to take a deep inhale of the roses that smell like heaven, Jensen clenches his jaw, takes a deep breath, and takes a step back.

 

“J-Jensen, wait,” Jared says, and Jensen’s whole body freezes in place. He makes himself look up at him, not sure what he’s going to see, but Jared’s eyes are bright, if a little glassy, and his smile is  _ that _ smile, the big one, with deep dimples and blindingly white teeth and Jensen’s heart leaps in his chest. There’s a long pause, and Jensen waits, his breath held, and when Jared laughs and shakes his head, looking down at the flowers in his hands, Jensen realizes Jared doesn’t know what to say. 

 

“These are– they’re beautiful, thank you,” Jared finally whispers, breathy with quiet laughter, but the tension between them seems to bleed away instantly. Jensen can breathe again and Jared looks so soft standing there, it’s taking everything, all of Jensen’s self control not to reach across the counter to kiss him. The quiet stretches out but they just share small smiles, clearly not sure what to do next, and finally Chad wanders over, shaking his head and throwing his hands up before starting to shove at Jared.

 

“It’s about fucking time, arrite? Jared, quit standing around and go sit with your– your– whatever you are,” he exclaims, making a face in Jensen’s general direction while Jared startles and, despite his significant size advantage, allows himself to be pushed around the counter towards Jensen. “I’ve got the bar, and I’ll bring you your coffees. For old time’s sake.”

 

He grins wickedly and winks at Jensen with that last bit, and Jensen doesn’t resist the instinct to dramatically roll his eyes back at him. Chad leaves Jared blushing and standing right in front of Jensen, no counter between them, looking shy. Jensen melts a little inside, and he reaches for Jared’s free hand. 

 

“Shall we?” Jensen glances at his outstretched hand and Jared laughs, a little giddy as he starts to nod and takes it.

 

“Okay.” He smiles and lets Jensen lead him to his usual booth. Jared sits down opposite where Jensen usually sits, carefully laying his bouquet on the table. Jensen sheds his pea coat, shrugging out of it and folding it once before pushing it into the far end of the bench and sitting down, too, across from Jared, and he doesn’t let himself hesitate; before Jared can hide his hands, Jensen gently takes one in his, keeping them together in the middle of the booth, and Jared looks up at him from under the white, fluffy brim of his hat like he’s so much smaller than he is, smaller than Jensen even though he’s really a giant. 

 

Jensen can feel Jared’s hand shake under his, and he lets his thumb play over the back of it, reveling in the soft warmth of Jared’s skin. There’s a comfortable quiet between them until Chad comes over with two mugs, one Jensen’s black Americano and the other with a mountain of whipped cream sprinkled with crushed candy cane pieces and a delicate drizzling of chocolate sauce, just as Jensen anticipated. He keeps a sly smile to himself, letting Jared and Chad exchange a long, knowing look before he walks away, leaving them to just themselves. 

 

Another heartbeat of quiet and Jared is looking at him again, happy but still uncertain, and Jensen takes a deep breath, ready to dive into the best thing he almost missed.

 

“So, Jared,” he begins. “How are you? Talk to me, please. I– I want to listen.” He lets himself beam across the table at Jared like he’s so genuinely inclined to do, and Jared smiles bashfully and looks down briefly, biting at his lip. He looks back up at Jensen on the edge of a laugh, then cocks his head a little to the side.

 

“Well…” 

 

\---

 

Jared is cuter and sweeter than Jensen dared to let himself think. Jensen spends a lot of time asking questions and listening, watching with rapt attention as Jared laughs a lot, blushes even more, and nervously covers his mouth with his fingers when he’s being shy, playing with his lip or biting on the end of his finger, seemingly unaware of the effect that has on Jensen’s blood flow. They’re completely absorbed in their conversation until Chad comes over and tells them to take it elsewhere. Jared gets flustered, flails a little about helping him close but Chad insists he’s got it and won’t let Jared give him any other answer. 

 

As it turns out, Jared was, indeed, going to be alone for Christmas, since his roommate Gen – and didn’t that just explain the hard time she gave Jensen yesterday – flew out that morning to go home for a few days. Jared looks hesitant when they get their coats on, like he’s not sure what’s next, so Jensen just goes for it. When Jared agrees to come home with him, again with that blinding smile, Jensen feels like Christmas has come a day early. They get Chinese from the best little hole-in-the-wall restaurant in town, conveniently located between the café and Jensen’s house. Jensen carries the bags of food in one hand and holds Jared’s in the other the whole way there, while Jared has his flowers in his other hand, pulling them up to his face to smell them, hiding every time Jensen says something that makes him blush – which isn’t hard to do at all, Jensen is pleased to be learning.

 

They eat at the tiny table in Jensen’s kitchen, just because the food is messy and meant to be shared, and Jared wants to keep talking, asking Jensen all about his studies and making  _ him _ blush when he looks impressed by Jensen’s stupidly ambitious, heavy course load. When they’re finished and Jared realizes that Jensen’s  _ done _ done, he insists that Jensen should be celebrating, so Jensen shrugs and suggests breaking into the rum and eggnog he bought just in case.

 

They retreat to Jensen’s couch – the room lit only by the spicy-sweet candles and the lights on the tree – to watch something festive, but after going through Jensen’s movie collection they settle on The Two Towers Extended Edition and Jensen can’t remember the last time two hundred and thirty-five minutes felt so short in all his life, dreading it being over and the thought of Jared leaving. When the movie starts, they’re sitting a reasonable distance apart on the couch, but they’re touching from shoulders to knees by the time Jensen has to stand and put in the disc for the second half. Jensen refills their glasses with more eggnog and a generous splash of rum before he sits back down, right at Jared’s side, and as Jensen presses play, Jared pulls the fleecy throw off the back of the couch to drape over them, tucking his legs up onto the couch at his side and letting his head fall onto Jensen’s shoulder.

 

Jensen swears he can feel Jared holding his breath during Sam’s speech to Frodo in Osgiliath, tilts his head down and sees the light catching in the watery surface of Jared’s eyes. It just makes Jensen smile and he holds Jared a little tighter, and as the screen fades to black and Gollum’s Song starts up with the credits, neither of them make to move at all. When the singing finally stops and the orchestra resumes, Jensen bites the bullet, finally speaking even at risk of breaking the spell they’re under. He gently shakes the shoulder Jared’s head is resting on.

 

“Hey,” Jensen whispers. “You still with me?”

 

Jared shifts where he’s sitting so he can twist and look up at Jensen, and the move puts his knees over Jensen’s thighs, and how on earth someone that long makes himself so small is  _ beyond _ Jensen but he is  _ not _ complaining.

 

“Yeah, Jensen,” Jared answers, just as quietly. “I’m still with you.”

 

There’s a weighted pause then, and they’re so close together right now, Jensen swears he can taste the rum on Jared’s breath. It’s probably his own but Jared’s eyes are right on his, glimmering in the low light, practically pleading with him, and Jensen can’t hold himself back another minute. He reaches up with one hand and tilts Jared’s face up that little bit more, easing his face forward to press their lips together. Jensen aims for gentle at first, doesn’t want to rush it because everything with Jared is already so good, but as he kisses him a second time, still chaste, Jared  _ whimpers _ , parting his mouth, and Jensen can only melt into him. His hand slides up into Jared’s hair, his fingers tangling in the strands of it as Jensen slips his tongue between Jared’s open, inviting lips. He really can taste the rum now, their tongues sliding together in the warm trap of Jared’s mouth, and the kiss only deepens more. Jared begs him in, the hand he had resting on Jensen’s chest fisting in his shirt, the weight of Jared getting heavier in his lap as Jared squirms to get closer. Jensen dominates the kiss, changing the angle of Jared’s head with the hand he has buried in his hair, only to earn him more of those sweet little sounds. Jared chases his mouth, nipping at his lips when Jensen finally breaks the kiss to breathe, and both of them are panting. The credits stopped sometime while they were kissing and the room is quiet now apart from the thundering of their hearts and the way they both gasp for air. 

 

“Merry Christmas, Jared,” Jensen huffs out, breathless, and nudges their noses together playfully.

 

Jared laughs, just as breathless, and tucks his head down against Jensen’s jaw. 

 

“Merry Christmas, Jensen,” he murmurs, the sound muffled because his mouth is against Jensen’s neck.

 

Jensen closes his eyes and sighs, letting the hand in Jared’s hair slide down to cradle the back of his head, holding him close. “I’m so sorry, Jared. I was so dumb before. I can’t believe… can’t believe I almost missed you.”   
  
Jared hums a little against Jensen’s skin before leaning back a little to look Jensen in the eye. “It’s okay, Jensen. I mean… I’m… here now, right?” He smiles, small and sweet, and Jensen can only smile back.

 

“Yeah, you are,” Jensen kisses him again. He tucks a piece of Jared’s hair behind his ear and watches as Jared works his bottom lip with his teeth – like he’s nervous.

 

“Jared?” Jensen asks gently, tilting Jared’s face up with two fingers lightly under his chin. He can feel when Jared swallows before answering him.

 

“And, well… if I leave, then… you’d be alone. At Christmas.” Jared’s fingers on Jensen’s chest are absently playing with something on his shirt, and he watches them there instead of looking at Jensen, despite Jensen angling his head. Jensen’s smile turns sly.

 

“I would be alone. And then you would be alone, too. At Christmas,” Jensen echoes him, and Jared’s eyes finally leave Jensen’s chest to meet his. Jared’s smile is small, but Jensen can see that he’s fighting to keep it that way. 

 

“Do you want to be alone, Jensen?” Jared is playful when he asks but it strikes a real chord with Jensen anyway. He can practically see Danneel staring him down with her hands on her hips. It makes Jensen’s heart swell but he laughs a little, too.

 

“No, I really don’t, Jared,” he finally says. “You?” 

 

Jared shakes his head, his hair coming loose from behind his ears, which suits Jensen just fine, since he’s decided he already really likes being the one to tuck it back there. 

 

“So stay with me?” Jensen leans in close, his lips brushing over Jared’s as he speaks. Jared doesn’t answer him out loud, just nods and kisses him again, skipping right past chaste as he gets his tongue in Jensen’s mouth, and this time it’s Jensen moaning. Jared is kissing him like he’s  _ hungry _ for it, not at all shy now, and Jensen is so hard he can barely keep his hips still when he wants nothing more than to desperately rut against Jared’s solid thigh where it’s pressing down on him. He finally breaks the kiss to suck in a deep breath, but Jared just moves to kissing at his jaw and then his neck.

 

“Oh, God, Jared,” Jensen pants, and he feels Jared smile, but he doesn’t stop. He uses the hand he still has in Jared’s hair to tug him back, making Jared look at him. Jared’s eyes are bright, he’s flushed but it’s different, not the same blush he wore so often behind the counter at Jeff’s Place, and as he licks his spit-slick lips, Jensen’s aching dick twitches and leaks into his underwear. “Hold– hold on, baby. Lie back for me?” 

 

He’s loathe to move them but their position is awkward with Jared curled up half on his lap but still to the side. Jared is nodding and grinning though, backing off while Jensen starts to get up, and going easy under Jensen’s hands as he pushes a little, guiding Jared onto his back. The couch is full size, not that that means much when it’s  _ Jared _ Jensen is trying to fit on it, but he bends and opens his long, long legs and Jensen gets his knees between them so he’s lying on top of Jared. He’s propped up by a fist disappearing into the cushion on either side of Jared’s head, but Jared’s already reaching for him, sliding his big hands up and down Jensen’s back. Jensen drops his hips, finally pressing them together, and Jared groans, throwing his head back as he tugs at Jensen’s shirt. Jensen doesn’t waste the opportunity, going right for Jared’s tempting, exposed throat. He kisses, bites and sucks at the delicate skin, and Jared writhes under him, bucking up to grind their denim-clad dicks together, and then he’s tugging at Jensen’s shirt, untucking it from his pants. His fingers edge under the waist of Jensen’s jeans, pulling and trying to get them closer together, but Jensen gasps for the feel of his hands as they palm his cheeks, and Jared turns to drag his teeth along Jensen’s neck now. 

 

“Jared,  _ Christ _ ,” Jensen sighs, letting himself be heavy, his elbows going soft so he sinks further down. They’re chest-to-chest and Jared catches Jensen’s mouth, kissing him deeply as he holds on tight to his handfuls of Jensen’s ass. 

 

“Is this– is this okay, Jen?” Jared pants out between kisses, and Jensen can only chase his mouth as Jared keeps grinding them together.

 

“Yeah,” he moans, smiling and a bit incredulous. “It’s okay, Jared.” Jensen kisses him back and it’s sloppy, distracted because Jared is making him mindless with the friction, the long drag of his hips. 

 

They keep kissing, keep grinding, making out like goddamn teenagers and Jensen can’t be sure if it’s been a minute or ten or twenty but it’s so good and not enough all at the same time. He breaks their kiss and pulls back, planting quick kisses down Jared’s neck, and then he’s sitting back on his heels at the very end of the couch, held loosely by Jared’s open legs, and he holds Jared’s questioning gaze very intentionally as he reaches for Jared’s belt. He pauses with his hands on the buckle, waiting, and Jared blinks before he finally realizes and nods. 

 

Jensen makes quick work of it then, Jared’s belt, the button and zipper on his jeans, and when he maneuvers Jared’s dick out, they both gasp. Jared arches into the touch, and Jensen has never seen a prettier dick in all his life. Jensen is no slouch himself but Jared is still bigger, long like the rest of him. Jensen’s mouth waters as he watches precome bead up at the tip, and he curls over to lick it, moaning when the subtle, bitter taste hits his tongue. The position is definitely cramped, bent over as he is, but it doesn’t even register. Jared sucks in a breath as Jensen wiggles his tongue in his slit, and then he practically keens when Jensen takes him into his mouth. 

 

“F-Fuck,” Jared hisses when Jensen doesn’t stop, getting as much of Jared in as he can manage, letting his throat flutter around the head and breathing through his nose the warm, musky scent of Jared that’s so strong here. It’s heady and Jensen only backs off because he has to, because Jared might be the biggest dick he’s ever had in his mouth, and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this but he’s not going to slow down to question it further. 

 

He gets a hand at Jared’s base to make a loose fist and lets his mouth go slack, his spit sliding past his lips to drip down Jared’s length, and then he find a rhythm. He bobs up and down Jared’s dick, hollowing his cheeks and teasing under the crown with his tongue, one arm across Jared’s hips because he can’t keep them still, and as Jared comes apart underneath him Jensen couldn’t care less about the awkward angle of his back and his own dick throbbing, angry from neglect and trapped behind his zipper. None of it matters. His world starts and ends with Jared’s taste bursting at the back of his throat, Jared’s width stretching his lips and straining his jaw, and the broken noises he keeps making at the other end of the couch, his head thrashing on the arm.

 

“Jen– Jensen, Jesus, please, I–” Jared whines, warning, and Jensen pulls off quickly, his fist changing to a tight, purposeful grip right at the base of Jared’s dick. Jared gasps and shudders as Jensen puts a stop to his orgasm, and his eyes – glassy and unfocused – find Jensen’s, pleading.

 

“God, Jared, sorry. Not yet, baby,” Jensen says, honestly sympathetic, but it’s not what he wants, not if Jared will have him. “Fuck me, Jared? Please?”   
  
“Oh, s-shit,” Jared moans, sounding pained, and throws an arm across his eyes. His hips are still shifting against Jensen’s arm and Jensen lets up, but keeps his fingers tight around Jared’s cock.

 

“Is that a yes?” Jensen exhales in a rush, heart in his throat. 

 

“Yeah, Jensen, of course. Fuck.” Jared moves his arm up so he can look at Jensen then, and Jensen just fucking grins at him. Not that there was any doubt, but the second Jensen saw the monster Jared was packing, he knew he had to have him. He wants Jared to just take him apart. 

 

“You good, baby?” Jensen asks, shaking the hand he’s got on Jared’s dick still and Jared groans but nods. Jensen eases his grip gently and then withdraws his hand entirely. “C’mon, Jared. We’re a little too big to do this here.” 

 

Jensen stands up, stumbling briefly as he gets on his feet, lightheaded, and he finds his centre. He takes a deep breath and wipes his mouth and chin off on his sleeve, then reaches for Jared’s hand. Jared takes it and, holding his pants up on his hips with the other, he stands up, too, and follows Jensen out of the living room, his dick – shiny with Jensen’s spit – still hanging out of the front of his open jeans.

 

They get to the stairs and Jensen gets one foot on the first step when Jared tugs his hand, making him turn around. Jared looks ridiculous and seriously hot standing there, his pretty cock on display, his hair a disheveled mess, his pants barely staying up and the cut of his hip exposed for the way the arm holding his jeans has pushed up his shirt. Jensen bites his lips to keep from making a completely embarrassing sound, then gives Jared a silent look –  _ what? _ Jared nods up and–  _ oh right.  _ Jensen completely forgot.

 

“Mistletoe, Jensen?” Jared smirks, pulling Jensen to stand with him under it. “I thought you said you weren’t going to get to celebrate this year. Pretty festive in here, though.”   
  
Jensen steps closer, feels when the head of Jared’s dick hits his stomach and keeps moving forward, trapping it between them. He teases Jared as he answers, trailing his lips along his cheek. “Most of it was Chris and Danni, actually. But the rest – this mistletoe? It’s for you.” 

 

He kisses the goofy grin right off Jared’s beautiful face, breaking the kiss when Jared starts to make it dirty, sucking on Jensen’s tongue. “ _ Jared _ , you’re killing me. Upstairs,  _ now _ .”   
  
He turns and pulls Jared up the stairs amid Jared’s laughter.

 

“You’re pretty bossy for a bottom,” Jared chuckles, teasing, and as soon as they’re at the top of the stairs, Jensen pins him to the wall, pressing their hips together and making Jared groan.

 

“You have no idea,” Jensen purrs against Jared’s ear, dragging his teeth along the shell of it. He feels Jared shiver and grins.

 

“Yeah? Well, two can play at that game,” Jared says, his voice dropping low, and then his hands are under Jensen’s ass, hauling him up. Jensen is so startled – he’s a big guy, people usually don’t just fucking  _ lift _ him – he grabs onto Jared’s shoulders and tries not to yelp, his legs instinctively wrapping around Jared’s waist. The air gets forced out of him in a big  _ whoosh _ as Jared slams him up against the opposite wall, and Jensen has officially never been more turned on in his entire fucking life.

 

“Jesus– Jesus  _ Christ _ , Jared. Fuck– you need to fuck me  _ right now _ ,” Jensen growls, clinging to Jared desperately as Jared kisses at his neck, surprisingly gentle considering how he’s just manhandled him. 

 

“Yeah,” Jared mumbles against his skin. “Okay, Jensen, okay. What room?”

 

_ Jesus the man is going to fucking carry him to his bed– fuck fuck fuck _ .

 

“That one– on your– first right.” Jensen can barely get the words out but Jared is moving, and as Jensen gets pressed against a door it opens and they step inside. Jared walks forward and drops – practically fucking  _ tosses  _ – Jensen onto his bed. He lands with a loud creak of the old floor underneath and bounces on the thank-everything-that’s-holy Queen size mattress; anything smaller might make this difficult. 

 

Jensen reaches for the small light on his nightstand, turning it on, and as he lays back on the bed, still panting, he looks up to see Jared pull his t-shirt up over his head, shaking his head to get his hair out of his eyes. Jensen sighs and it comes out like a whine, but he’s past caring. Jared said he liked to work out in his spare time but that doesn’t seem to do justice to all the lean, well-defined muscle Jared just revealed. Jared’s mouth quirks up when he catches Jensen practically drooling but he just drops his loosened pants and underwear all once, leaving himself bare naked where he stands at the foot of Jensen’s bed.

 

“You want me to undress you, too?” Jared asks, and while his expression looks like he’s ribbing Jensen a little, his voice is gentle, like if that’s what Jensen wants Jared is okay to do it. Mostly, Jensen just can’t scrape up the brain cells required to answer  _ or _ undress himself, so instead he stutters and his hands move in short, aborted movements like he’s going to go for the buttons on his shirt but then he isn’t. Jared’s grin gets impossibly bigger and he practically pounces when he joins Jensen on the bed, like some overgrown freakin’ puppy.

 

“Jared–” Jensen tries, but his voice is reedy and barely there. Jared is right above him, and kisses him quick.  

 

“It’s okay, Jensen. I got you,” Jared says, so earnest, and Jensen blinks. He almost laughs but then Jared is on his knees between his legs, unbuttoning his shirt, and  _ when did this happen _ ? Jared is– well, sweeping Jensen off his goddamn feet, is what he’s doing. Jared, who could barely talk to him before, who needed Jensen to notice him, be the one to make the first move. Apparently, that’s all he needed, and Jensen is so fucking okay with this. 

 

Jared pushes his now open shirt back off his shoulders and Jensen sits up enough to peel out of it, tossing it somewhere off the bed while Jared shifts focus to his pants. He gets them undone and starts pulling them down, Jensen lifting his hips to help, and then he’s naked, too, with the most gorgeous guy he’s ever seen kneeling between his spread thighs and looking at him like,  _ Christ _ – like Jensen is more than some oblivious asshole who didn’t give Jared the time of day.

 

“I don’t deserve you, Jared,” Jensen exhales softly. Jared just shakes his head and leans forward to kiss him.

 

“Quit it, Jensen,” he says against his mouth. “This,” he pulls back to look at Jensen, pressing his hand to Jensen’s chest, over his heart, “is the only thing that matters. You and me, now. Okay?”

 

Jensen huffs out a breath, feeling stupid and exposed but better, and good, warm in Jared’s gaze. “Okay, Jared.”

 

Jared beams at him again. “Good. Stuff?” 

 

Jensen laughs outright at that, gesturing with a nod beside them. “In the nightstand.”

 

Jensen just watches as Jared leans over to dig lube and a condom out of the drawer. He drops the little foil packet on the bed and opens the bottle, spilling the lube over his first two fingers. He closes the cap with his clean fingers and tosses it with the condom, smiling devilishly as he leans over Jensen to kiss him. Jensen tilts his head back into the kiss, letting Jared in, and gets one hand on Jared’s shoulder, the other in his hair. He startles at the first touch of Jared’s fingers at the inside crease of his leg but relaxes as the cool, slick digits slide deeper, seeking his hole. Jensen instinctively spreads his legs wider and sighs when Jared finally pets at the furl of muscle. His grip tightens in Jared’s hair, his nails sink a little into his back, but Jared just smiles against Jensen’s mouth and pushes his first finger inside, slow but steady all the way to the last knuckle. Jensen makes a small, strangled noise in the back of his throat, chasing that fullness but squirming for the intrusion. It’s been so long – too long – since it was someone else, and Jensen is so greedy for it; he’d rush it except considering the equipment Jared’s working with, he figures he better not. 

 

“ _ Jared _ ,” he sighs, sinking back into the mattress, relaxing completely as Jared slides his long finger in and out, teases at his rim, and pets at his insides, pressing against the walls that are trying to squeeze at him and keep him in.

 

“You’re so tight, Jensen, shit,” Jared says, awe in voice as he gets a second finger in along with the first. Jensen groans at the increased stretch and pressure but it feels so good, and it’s only making him that much more desperate for it to be Jared’s dick instead.

 

“More, Jared, please,” Jensen begs, unashamed. Jared looks up at him, only just starting to scissor the fingers he’s got in there already. “Jared, c’mon. Want to feel you. Do it, please.”   
  
Jared shakes his head, laughing breathlessly and leans up for a quick kiss. “You’re the boss, bottom.” 

 

He winks and Jensen rolls his eyes, groaning, but the sound breaks when Jared forces in another finger. Jensen hisses at the way it burns, and Jared hesitates but Jensen just grabs his elbow to make sure the only way he’s going is the one Jensen wants. Jared is still a moment to let Jensen adjust, and then he slowly starts to slide all three in and out, drawing a long, satisfied sigh from Jensen once his knuckles are snug against his rim again. “Feel so good, Jared.”   
  
He pets absentmindedly at Jared’s hair while Jared fingers him open, getting him loose and ready. He starts to curl his fingers, looking for Jensen’s prostate, and when he brushes it Jensen gasps and he tenses, clutching at Jared desperately.

 

“Jensen, if you could see yourself right now, fucking stretched around my fingers, fuck–” Jared grits out, and when Jensen can finally pry open his eyes to look at him, Jared is red-faced and dripping sweat, the muscles in his arm tense and veiny. 

 

“Oh, God. Jared, need you– it’s gotta be you,” Jensen pants, and Jared is nodding, kissing him once, and again, before sitting back and easing his fingers out. Jensen whines at the empty feeling when they’re gone, but Jared is quick to find the condom where it had been abandoned in the sheets, tearing it open with his teeth. He rolls it on and Jensen tries not to squirm while he watches, his hips canting restlessly and his dick leaking onto his tummy, impatient. Jared finds the lube next, pouring more into his palm before making a fist around his dick, slicking himself up and shimmying forward on his knees at the same time. Jensen folds his legs back, knees at his shoulders, and reaches blindly for Jared’s hips. 

 

“Ready?” Jared’s voice is rough, wrecked, as he lines himself up, resting the head of his dick at Jensen’s entrance. 

 

“Fuck, yes!  _ Come on already!” _ Jensen barks out, exasperated, but Jared just laughs and gives it to him, pushing past any remaining resistance and bottoming out in one slow thrust. Jensen makes a noise like he’s been punched hard in the gut, all the air forced out of him, and his hands scrabble for purchase on Jared’s back. 

 

“Thought that might shut you up,” Jared grits out, obviously feeling the impossibly tight squeeze of Jensen’s body as it tries to accommodate him.

 

“Oh, now you want me quiet?” Jensen huffs, digging his nails in as Jared draws his hips back a little, testing the give.

 

“That depends,” Jared answers, breath hot on Jensen’s ear. “Are you gonna keep telling me what to do? Because if you can do that then I’m not doing this right. But if you want to wake your neighbours, then, by all means.”    
  


“Ohmygod,” Jensen exhales all at once as Jared starts to move in earnest, a slow by steady rhythm. 

 

“Uh huh,” Jared chuckles, reaching an arm around to get a hand on Jensen’s dick, making him whine. “You can just call me Jay.”   
  
Jensen scoffs and rolls his eyes, only to moan when Jared slams into him hard, forcing him a little ways back up the bed. “ _ Fuck! _ ”   
  
Jared picks up the pace and Jensen is quite actually just holding on for the ride, his nails making deep half-moons in Jared’s otherwise flawless skin, the harsh slap of skin and their panting breaths loud in the quiet house. Jared might’ve been shy at the shop but he fucks like an animal and Jensen is out of his mind with it, giving up all these broken, breathy noises on every thrust. Jared’s hand gives him just enough friction, the crown of his dick catching on Jared’s finger as Jensen’s body moves in time to Jared’s hips. He’s barrelling toward the finish incredibly fast, Jared’s lips still brushing his ear, the short, choppy whooshes of his breath only making Jensen that much more frantic. 

 

“You feel fucking incredible,” Jared grits out. “Come on, Jensen. I’m not gonna last– much longer. You gotta– come for me, Jensen, come on.”

 

He tightens his grip on Jensen’s dick and takes his mouth in a sloppy kiss that’s all teeth and tongue but Jensen was  _ right there _ and it’s more than enough. “Jared!”

He cries out when he comes, curling up so his forehead is against Jared’s shoulder and shuddering through it. The next spurt hits him on his own chin and he can feel where he’s wet in places all up his chest. 

 

“Jesus,  _ Jensen– _ !” Jared follows him over, his hips stuttering and his mouth falls open as he gasps and comes, too.  __ Jensen swears he’s warmer inside, even if Jared is just filling the condom, and as he sighs and relaxes into the bed again, dropping his head to the pillow and lacing his fingers together at the back of Jared’s sweaty neck, he revels in how thoroughly well-fucked and full he feels. 

 

Jared’s orgasm finally subsides and he barely avoids crushing Jensen under him, his legs pinned under Jared’s chest. Jared shakes with the effort to stay up, taking the moment to catch his breath and come down a little. Jensen just hums and flexes a little, just to hear Jared hiss, and Jared looks up, laughs, and kisses him. “Stop that, you.” 

 

Jensen grins into the kiss and does it again, making Jared inhale sharply. When he looks down at Jensen, Jensen just shrugs and kisses him again. “I thought I was the boss?”

 

Jared laughs into the kiss and then eases back onto his knees, reaching with the hand covered in Jensen’s come to hold the base of the condom as he slides out. “Don’t get too carried away,” Jared teases. “That was just for tonight. Next time? Maybe I’ll be the boss.”   
  
Jensen sighs at the emptiness, sad, and Jared’s clean hand helps him unfold his legs and put them down on the bed on either side of him. At Jared’s words, Jensen looks up, a little surprised.

 

“Yeah?” Jensen grins at the prospect.

 

“Yeah,” Jared smiles, and as he pulls of the condom off, wrapping it in some tissues from the nightstand, he looks a little bashful, ducking his head like he was when they were sitting in Jensen’s booth at Jeff’s Place. Jensen watches him intently as he cleans off, tossing the used tissues in the garbage bin next to Jensen’s desk. Jared gets a few more tissues to clean Jensen off, too, and he avoids Jensen’s eyes as he does it.

 

“Jared, what is it?” Jensen prys, reaching for him and putting a hand on his forearm. Jared looks up at him through his lashes and he’s that reserved boy from the cafe again, which Jensen can barely get his head around after what just happened. 

 

“So… there’ll be a next time?” Jared’s voice is small and hopeful when he says it, and his bottom lip gets pulled in between his teeth again, fucking  _ shy _ . Jensen feels the question echo sharply in his chest, tight right in his heart.

 

“Oh, God. Jay,” he sits upright, forcing Jared back so Jared is sitting on his heels between Jensen’s splayed knees. “Yeah. Please. I mean– if you want.”   
  
Jared nods quickly against the hand Jensen now has at his jaw, teasing behind his ear. “I really do, Jensen. I– I really like you.”   
  
There’s a long moment where they just look at each other, Jared still worrying his bottom lip, and Jensen doesn’t know whether to talk or kiss him first. He tries for both without thinking, and Jared just laughs against his mouth.

 

“Sorry,” Jensen laughs, too. “Good. That’s good, Jay. I– fuck, you’re amazing and I haven’t felt this good in– in months.”   
  
“‘Cause of me?” Jared asks, ears up and eyes big, that damn thousand-watt smile on his face, and Jensen can’t get over how fucking cute he is. 

 

“Yeah, ‘cause of you, doofus,” Jensen grins and kisses him again, this time without trying to talk at the same time. 

 

Jared tosses the last of the tissues into the basket without even looking and they kiss easy and slow, like they’ve got nowhere to be, because they don’t. Jensen finally breaks the kiss and coaxes Jared down to the bed with him, under the covers with Jared as his little spoon. Their arms overlap on Jared’s stomach, their fingers lacing together, and Jensen places random kisses to the nape of Jared’s neck.    
  


Jared sighs in his arms and relaxes against him and Jensen forgot that he could ever feel like this, though if he’s being honest, he’s not sure he’s ever felt this, right now, what he’s feeling wrapped around Jared; Jared who waited on him for months while he slogged through the mess that was his overtaxed academic life. Jensen never dared to want anything for Christmas, but as far as gifts go, he’s not sure there could ever be one better than Jared. He knows they’ve said it already tonight, but as they drift off to sleep, he can’t help but say it again.

 

“Merry Christmas, Jay,” Jensen murmurs against his skin. Jared hums a little and squeezes Jensen’s hand against his stomach.

 

“Merry Christmas, Jensen,” Jared whispers, and Jensen swears he can hear Jared’s smile. 

 

He holds Jared to him a little more tightly, cuddling in as close as he can get, and suddenly he knows exactly what he’s going to do with his time off before his Master’s: whatever keeps him here, close to Jared, so he can give this beautiful boy all the attention he deserves.

**Author's Note:**

> [theatregirl7299](http://theatregirl7299.livejournal.com/profile), darling, I hope you liked it. Merry Christmas to you, and to everyone else reading! Thanks for stopping by ❤


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